Things that make you go WTF? #212 the Laptop Burka

The heat is certainly rising in my part of town, and the sun baked patio is where I am spending a lot of my time, loving the WiFi enabled tanning opportunities. But for those of you with a fairer disposition why not invest in a laptop burka (LB)?

This invention has the ingenuity that bought us the infamous slanket™ during the cold snap, but seems to be missing the point in a fatal way. The slanket was embraced so warmly by the hibernating British public because it allowed us to multi-task, especially if that entailed no more than stuffing one's face with chocolate and channel surfing whilst swaddled in primary-coloured fleece.

The sales pitch on the Antiglare Laptop Burka's website reassures interested parties that:

The new Laptop Burka lets you work and play on your laptop without the glare of sunlight or other light sources. Laptop Burka lets you work or watch movies in your own portable private space, and its made from high-quality, breathable, lightweight fabric.

Take your Laptop Burka to the pool … the patio … the park … ANYWHERE!!

But is it just me, or is heading out into the sun with your laptop and then covering up with your own personal Bedouin tent missing the point entirely? If you can't catch the sun, covertly ogle beautiful people or laugh at other people's sunburn what's the point if being outside?

I'm happy to be corrected on this one, but as a British sun-worshipper, I have to quote those famous fire-breathing denizens of business and say I'm out.

this international life

It's all well and good when your journalism teachers say "you must have a blog", but really what is a blog apart from self-publishing. A great opportunity, don't get me wrong, but without the self-promotion skills requisite to get anyone you don't know reading your work some validation is key.

At the moment validation seems to be the missing link in my journalistic job search, but I'm finally on my way to getting some thanks to the website International Life. A quirky, tongue-in-cheek website that offers "a hand-picked selection of the very best of everything in London and around the world".

I've been commissioned to write reviews of London eateries for the site, as well as news stories and who knows what else. So, if you've got a suggestion of somewhere good, or bad, that you think some attention needs directing to find me on Twitter, Facebook or add a comment below.

Do you loveyourvagina.com?

The daily underground drudge to work has been immensely cheered up for me, as I struggle to suppress titters whenever I walk past the new posters declaring lady garden, coochie, bajingo, fru fru or va jay jay.

It's a testament to how liberated we have become as a society, as well as to the power of marketing. Imagine if this idea was proposed in the offices of Sterling Cooper? Don Draper et al would have a fit.

The product this unbranded teaser campaign is advertising is the Mooncup- a re-usable device for collecting menstrual flow rather than flushing the 12,000 tampons a woman uses in her lifetime down the loo. The Mooncup was initially brought to my attention by an old housemate, who told me in a rather disdainful way about the hippie yoga teacher she met who used one. I was I admit intrigued, but from the disgusted reaction of another female friend, realised I'd have to keep my curiosity to myself for a while.




I think the main barrier to the uptake of the Mooncup is the belief that it is a messy and gross thing to use. Indoctrinated by tampon propaganda, one doesn't quite grasp the central point of the Mooncup - any blood will be contained within the cup. A BBC show called It's Not Easy Being Green broadcast about four years ago featured two women attending a Mooncup party, where users of the system pass on their experience and wisdom in an effort to spread the word. This is the sort of marketing that Mooncup has been using, along with presence at UK festivals such as Glastonbury, leaflets and stickers distributed with the product for friendly recommendations. And now there is this new campaign, the advertising bods responsible for Mooncup's strategies appear to be reflecting the nature of society's attitude towards menstruation in a suitably tongue-in-cheek manner.

As well as this most recent shift from a featherweight contender, big dog Tampax appears to be having a rethink too. In 2009, they created a viral campaign featuring Zack16, the trials and tribulations of a 16-year-old boy who one day wakes up with a vagina. His take on the harsher side of female life is over-simplified but he's at least not trying to sell the myth that periods are fun.

LFW Issa London AW10

I wrote this review for a competition on GraziaDaily. Sadly, my entry didn't win me a BlackBerry or a byline. But I was brought up with a waste not want not mentality so here it is for lucky old you to read.

Issa London

The clashing scenes of London fashion’s old and new guards were Daniella Issa Helayel’s inspiration for Issa London’s AW10 show. The Brazilian designer blended the pomp of Annabel’s and the King’s Road with the grimy cityscape view of rooftop parties at Shoreditch House to bring necessary grit to the glamour on show.

This collection perfectly suited the modern London fashionista who is inspired by objects she either loves or loathes to create an eclectic look. The rocked up re-appropriation of the uniform of the old guard was manifest in layers of clashing textures and shades. Twin collarless quilted jackets, armoured with embellished pockets and external shoulder pads, perfectly channelled the modern aesthetic. Jackets and capes in fur and wool echoed the boxy silhouettes of shift dresses layered over thin polo necks in contrasting colours. Evocation of screen-starlet glamour came from models dressed with scarlet lips, huge sunglasses and patterned headscarves protecting vast quiffs.

The theme of the show’s production was NY-Lon travelling via ‘United Friends of Issa” and transatlantic glamour shone through. A series of diaphanous maxi-dresses floated down the runway as if straight from a pool-party at an art deco Miami mansion. The silken glamour was again tempered; smudged and muted shades of lilac and grey, cloaking the models with the aura of a rain-soaked London sky.

Needle-thin heels, the occasional pair of full-length black latex gloves and waist belts that stopped short of cinching emphasised that this was a feminine collection but by no means girly.

Big up yourself

My parents can be blamed for a lot of my "failings"; poor eyesight, hair that is neither straight or curly and my own brand of snobby socialism. And here's something else that has been their legacy to me; my inability to boast.

But now as I struggle to make my voice heard over the din of competition, one of my most powerful tasks will be the ability to self promote. Don't worry I'm not going to try a cocky swagger on for size. But you will be hearing more from me about how gosh darn fabulous I am.

Cos that's what makes me me, and the more people who know about it the better.

Last week a review I wrote was published in the Independent on Sunday. My first national byline, and I only told a few friends. I should have been shouting it from the rooftops, or at least have hired a sky writer. Well, here's the link. I hope that you enjoy it. It's the first of many. Trust me on that.

Independent on Sunday

Builder's tea and Polish sausage

Wednesday was the last official day of Catch 22 for the October cohort, so no more bi-weekly trips to Seven Sisters for me. Which may not sound like a shame, but really it is! Although it's not the most salubrious of areas, one of the great things about Seven Sisters is that high street chains have mostly overlooked it. Sure there's a big retail park a mile down the road full of those familiar brands, but the High Road is full of independent cafes and shops.

Sure I'm a massive food snob but sometimes a greasy spoon cafe is the perfect place to be, especially when it's one degree outside and you want something warm and comforting to eat. Cafe la City, is plonked right next to behemoth Tesco (sadly that's one chain you can't escape), and the staff there are bloody lovely. The food is exactly what you'd expect- fast, filling and relatively cheap. The bread is white and the tea comes in a mug, but it's unpretentious and so are the customers. The solitary man in a smart suit borrows the ketchup from the gaggle of college kids' table. Mums with pushchairs gossip next to builders reading The Sun. Forget daytime TV, spending an afternoon people watching here is far more entertaining than any synthetic soap.

Another great cafe is Tradicia, which is further up the High Road, near Bruce Grove station. The specialties are crepes and Polish food, but there are delicious salads, sandwiches and hot dishes on the menu too. The service is quite slow, even when you're the only customer! But if you have an hour to kill for lunch the turquoise exterior and the thought of delicious home made food will bring instant cheer to a mundane workday lunch.

New Year, not quite new you

Last night I couldn't sleep, had a tummy ache and kept checking I had all my work. In the middle of the night I woke up panicking that I had a massive project to complete. Yep, I had the back-to-school Sunday blues, worsened by the fact that it was a Monday night. Although I do love Catch 22 when I'm there, a two-week break of eating, drinking and making merry has left me with no motivation.

Before we all left Tottenham for the Christmas holidays, I have to say that tensions were rising in the October Cohort. Everyone had busted their bums getting the first draft of their article for the spring mag in on time, add that to the pressure cooker that is this intensive course and you get lots of grumpy students. Ever optimistic, I thought that perhaps attitudes might have changed whilst people took some time out with their loved ones. Sadly, everyone isn't on the same page just yet and after just one news meeting defences were rising and people are being snide to one another.

I'm not naive enough to believe that a disparate group of people must be friends just because they work together. But I do feel that we've all been given an amazing opportunity to learn so much for free, and our attitudes are really going to affect what we take from the course, and the experience of others.

Without sounding like too much of a hippy, we need to re-group and have some positive team bonding. There's only a month left to go and the pressure is mounting...